Dance…Relationships

So it has come to this…time on my hands (a rarity!!), which means time to reflect (woohoo!). The result is the following thoughts… creating a parallel between relationships and dancing.

For those of you who know me, my brain is wired as a person with passion for dancing (I teach dance), interest with IT (work within IT business solutions & projects), and I have this long time fascination with the human brain & behaviour (I provide life coaching). You will witness some elements within my writing below.

Before you read on, I need to define my version of what is a relationship. According to many dictionaries a relationship is “an emotional or other connection between people whether by association, involvement, blood, marriage.”.  Therefore, my belief is that a relationship starts the moment you make any form of connection. This relationship can last for a second, a day, a month, a year, a decade, or a lifetime. The reason I say this is because once a connection (of any form) is made, how I speak, react, and behave is in relation to this person.

Now for the parallel I draw between relationship and dance.  🙂

(LEGEND: Relationship = R, Dance = D)

Project Kick-Off = The Beginning!

Initiation Phase = Encounter Phase = Trial/Audition Phase

R= someone catches your eye and inspires within you an interest, enough to start a conversation and hopefully getting a phone number.

D= someone catches your eye from across the dance floor and inspires within you an interest, enough to get you to go over and hopefully dance.

Planning Phase = Dating Phase = Two Hand Hold Phase

R= conversations and outings are arranged to get to know one another, and dating begins.

D= one leads and the other is led to the dance floor which gives you a sense of what type of dancer you are engaging with, and dancing begins with two hand hold.

Development Phase = Courting Phase = Formal Frame Phase

R= trust, comfort, and greater connection develop which triggers desire to get closer emotionally & physically.

D= trust, comfort, and greater connection develop leading to dancing closer in a formal frame.

Implementation Phase = Intimate Phase = Rib Cage Phase

R= you feel this is the one for you, and are ready to move to the next level of the relationship sharing yourself completely in every way.

D= this is the one you for you, you are ready to move to the next level of connection by dancing closer to one another – rib cage to rib cage with arms wrapped around one another in full hold.

Deployment Phase = Commitment Phase = Dance Partner Phase

R= the trust, comfort, and familiarity makes for a wonderful connection – and so you commit to one another.

D= the trust, comfort, and familiarity makes for a wonderful connection – and so you dance together every chance you get.

Project Closeout = The End. 🙂

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Please forgive me.

I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry for neglecting you at times…for taking you for granted.

You have been there for me from the start. You helped me take my first steps in life. You let me stand up for myself. You carried me through all my ups and downs. Helped me skip, run, and jump hurdles when needed. You helped me graciously move through life with passion.

Through all this, my life, you have been there for me regardless of how I treated you.

Without apprehension, and of late, you have often expressed how you ache for me to be more attentive. I am sorry for not giving you the time, attention, and love you need – and so well deserved.

I am sorry. I am thankful for you. Please forgive me.

I love you so much…

My dear feet.

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Dearest Mother Nature…

Monday, April 18. What a gorgeous day it was today! I was extremely excited and anxious to leave the office, and pay Mother Nature a lovely visit by going for a wonderful late afternoon walk in the sun. Once home I quickly slipped out of my office attire into something more practical for a lengthy, leisurely walk. With my favourite specialty coffee from Second Cup in hand, I happily made my way towards the lake.

There beyond I noticed the sun was beaming upon a lonely bench by the water, and I took the liberty to occupy it. Sipping away, I gazed out onto the lake, watched and listened to the birds, and slowly closed my eyes to feel the sun’s rays embrace my body. Such warmth, such energy. So peaceful.

Moments later I heard footsteps. Slowly opening my eyes, I looked next to me and saw a woman with bleached blonde hair (her roots could be seen from a distance), face heavily made up, placing a coffee down so she could light up a cigarette. The fresh air I was breathing was now short lived. I looked up at her again and wondered: Why??? Why stop here, next to me, and smoke?. She caught my gaze – I suppose my face expressed my thoughts because she quickly moved further ahead a few feet in front of me and settled herself upon a rock – puffing away. The birds which were contently flying so  close now moved away. Sorry birds was the only thought at that moment.

Several minutes passed and I attempted to resume to my previous zen like state – with the scent of cigarette smoke invading my nostrils every now and then. I wasn’t going to move away. Why should I? After all I was there first! Stubbornly I remained, and then eventually noticed the cigarette scent was (finally) no more. Taking deep breaths I focused on letting the unsettling moments go, slowly counted backwards from ten and attempted to focus on my breathing.

Click…….click…..click..click.click….

Once again I was yanked out of my zone! This time by an annoying sound not made by nature. The woman was taking selfies!!! Damn! All I could think was with all this beauty around us, all you think of is taking selfie pics?!?! – UNREAL! At least have the courtesy to mute the bloody phone so as not to annoy me! Staring at the woman I felt my eyes beginning to glare. I was so disgruntled, but after a moment I started to feel so sad for her because she could not see past herself – and therefore unable to immerse herself in the true beauty of all that was around us.

Eventually I stood up to walk away as droplet of tears began to roll down my cheeks.

Dearest Mother Nature, I’m sorry that more beings are becoming so disconnected from you.

 

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Thoughtfully Random (Part II)

More random thoughts I would like to share with you. 🙂


 

Scars are a road map of where you have been. They need not dictate where you are going. -Angela S., September 2015

 

 

We bring to the workplace the understanding about groups we learned in our families. – Harry Levinson

 

 

I will never subject myself to hours. Hours are made for man, no man for hours. -Rabelais

 

Somewhere between two poles – living a life of vital lies and speaking simpler truths – there lies a skilful mean, a path to sanity and survival. -Daniel Goleman

 

I question our purpose,

Yet I know there is a reason

I question the pain,

Yet I know there is love

I question life,

Yet I am certain of death.

-Angela S., November 2015

 

Life experiences and situations do not define us. We define ourselves by how we get though them. -Angela S., June 2015

 

Life left unturned,

Yet I love you, forever.

Here I am alone in the world.

How can something so beautiful be so hurtful?

Kisses turn into bites,

Hugs into lashes,

Light burns bright,

Till we are ashes.

-Angela S., July 2015

 

 

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My Final Farewell

You came into my life, sneaking up behind me gently whispering hopes and dreams into my ear. You enraptured me, kept me in suspense, and took me on a ride I shall always fondly remember. You are unlike the others: very unique, giving, hopeful, and forever looking forward.

The history we made is no one’s but our own filled with moments of strife, despair, discoveries, and love.

You helped by giving me time and space for me to grow -and I did, so much so that this time I outgrew you.

 

 

goodbye3

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Under Attack!!

The news of the attacks in France is very disturbing. In fact, any such incident hurts us whether directly or indirectly. How can people be so cruel? Over many years (centuries), there have been so many inhumane acts of violence and wars in the name of religion, race -beliefs. Just how civilized are we? We beings can bring forth so much healing, and yet so much destruction.

The way I see it – US & Canada are a couple of very young countries (babies of the world). US makes lots of noise and bullies its ways to show strength amidst the many mature countries. As for Canada, well – our country appears “polite” as it stays quiet, and being influenced (or afraid of) chooses simply to follow it’s American sibling’s footsteps – yearning to be like the United states of America. So sad.

So am I surprised at the fact that we now may be facing a war expected to last 30 years? Not all. It’s a repeat of what happened in Afghanistan where the US sent weapons over to “help” (starting back in the 80’s), and then somehow they left these same weapons behind for the rebels (Al-Qaeda) to use. It happens again! Syria’s FSA is funded by the US which empowers Isis. Now talks are emerging stating there will be a lengthy war -needless to say that this strengthens the American economy as it needs wars to thrive -just look at history.  It’s no secret that gun manufacturing companies fund many political campaigns to ensure elected politicians -possessing their values- will pass and/or maintain bills around gun control (or lack of).

I have often said that “there are handful of leaders, and a shit load of followers“.  These particular leaders know how to manipulate, create reasonable doubt, and plausible deniability. The followers, well – most just prefer to sit back and play dumb.

So what is the truth? Furthermore, why is it we did not hear anything about the massive attack in Beirut which occurred just hours before the terrible attacks in Paris? What does the US gain by having only the France attacks highlighted?  It definitely put France in a situation where it now has to step up and publicly show strength, and so it did last Sunday – France launched a massive air-strike on Isis.

Get out of your comfort zone, take the lead, and start being mindful of what is really happening around you. Silence supports destruction, lets speak up so we can heal this world.

Here are some interesting articles to get you started:

Propaganda and Islam – What you’re not being told

Isis: the inside story

Image from Realfarmacy.com Healthy News and Information
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